I was a little girl who wanted to change the world. My problem was that I was genetically shy. I was born that way. I was sure of it; as was everyone around me.
However, I was fascinated by the human race. I travelled the world for years observing different countries and cultures. When I saw the inequity and suffering, I was deeply affected by it. I longed for a world where everyone had what they needed and were all treated with love and respect. But I felt paralysed to do anything about creating that change.
Then at the age of 27 I did my first personal development course and it rocked my world! I began to uncover my limiting beliefs and the stories I’d created about myself, others, the world and life in general. I discovered that when I saw these stories as self created, in that moment I had a choice: honour that story, or create something else! My life transformed! I was no longer genetically shy. Shyness was my childhood creation as a form of self protection. It was no longer necessary, nor did it serve me.
I created myself newly to be Love and Leadership. My life shifted direction in one weekend. I’d fallen in love with the depth, intensity and authenticity of the conversations that were had in that environment. I watched people’s lives change forever in one interaction. I was hooked. I wanted to have conversations like that for the rest of my life. So that’s what I did. I signed up for bootcamp style training in transformation for the next 8 years. I became a coach, a head coach and program leader. I loved it and was very successful.
But then my life changed again. While I was working full time as a program leader in the evenings and a project manager in the corporate world by day, I was also growing my first born son. I’d planned on popping him out and carrying on as I had been. Leading seminars with my baby strapped to my front. By life / the universe / god had other plans for me. My due date came and went and I was still soldiering on. I reached 41 ½ weeks pregnant and saw out the end of my seminar. The very next day I went into labour and on my arrival to the hospital, I was assessed and the doctor quite frankly said to me, “I’m sorry, there’s no heartbeat”. My world stopped. 2 days prior I’d had a check up and all seemed fine. But now my baby was dead.
This was the day my life got messy. Beginning with a still born baby, the next 7 years included an anxiety ridden second pregnancy, a very close brush with death during the delivery of my 3th son, PTSD, postnatal depression, my husband walking out of the marriage, leaving me with a 1yo and 3yo, a nasty divorce, financial destitution, my father and brother being diagnosed with cancer, two cancer scares of my own, my father and brother both dying, along with my grandmother, and then me discovering the edges of my own mental and physical wellbeing with adrenal burnout. It was a pretty flipping bumpy trot I can tell you!!
The one thing that kept me going through all of this was my dedication to learning, growing and upleveling myself. With every new scenario, I found what I needed to get through it. I found a new teacher, healer, coach, counsellor, course, book, practice, philosophy, or whatever else I could get my hands on that would keep my head above water and keep me swimming forwards. While it’s been exhausting and I’ve spent hours upon hours under the covers crying my eyes out, I remembered a promise I’d made to my son Lucas at his funeral. I promised to live a life that would make him proud. So every time I got knocked down, I’d get back up. Every challenge that I faced, I’d find a way round it. Every shitty circumstance I was dealt, I’d transform it.
Now I live a life that would not only make Lucas proud, it makes me proud.
I get to fulfil my passion and impact the lives of people all over the world, from all walks of life. I’ve worked with billionaires and presidential candidates, all the way up to students, single parents, people struggling but committed to something greater. No matter the circumstances people live in, they’re all people. And I love them all.
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